


Searching in the Dark

by xantissa



Series: Carnival of Rust [12]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 15:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xantissa/pseuds/xantissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just like Jim expected, actually. The last time they had met, Khan lost some of his prized control and now he was going to make Jim pay for being an unintentional witness to that fact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Searching in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> finally done this part, work is absolutely crazy!  
> wonderfully patient beta is Spookywanluke that has to deal with either a sudden outpouring of fics or a complete draught. Thank you hon!

When the door to Khan’s quarters slid open Jim expected to see Katya. Still, seeing them on the bed together felt like a punch to the gut. They were both dressed, Khan in the dark uniform he preferred and Katya in a dark blue, long sleeved dress that had the kind of short skirt that made Kirk think of Uhura. He wondered if it was her or Khan that had replicated the design.

 

As this was the first time outside medbay Jim had seen her, he could appreciate just how beautiful she was especially while calm and sane. The long red hair spread like fire over her back and shoulders as she lay snuggled tightly into a narrow space between Khan and the wall.

 

The man lay on his back, one arm under his head, the other holding a PADD up. There didn’t seem to be anything sexual going on but the way Khan lay relaxed, his body loose, hair not as severely slicked back as usual, was like just another reminder of just how much the augment didn’t trust them.

 

Katya’s eyes were staring at him, curious and wary while Khan didn’t acknowledge him for a very long moment. It was a petty move that made Jim feel uncomfortable and edgy as he stood there in the doorway unsure what to do or say. He couldn’t just up and say he had come for a cuddle of all things.

 

Finally Khan looked up from the PADD, his eyes pale and cold, piercing Jim without betraying his thoughts. This was exactly what Jim had expected, actually. The last time they had met, Khan lost some of his prized control and now he was going to make Jim pay for being an unintentional witness to that fact.

 

Kirk straightened his back and glared at the augment. He wasn’t going to beg. He was holding up his end of their deal, Khan had to do it too. Under all that cruelty and unflinching intellect, there was a kind of moral code that Khan stuck to.

 

Finally something in the darker man changed.

 

“Katya.”

 

That was all he said. He didn’t move, didn’t take his eyes away from Jim but the woman was already scrambling off the bed; her moves strong and graceful, her fiery hair trailing behind like a flag. “Captain.” She nodded at him, her voice lower than he expected. Nimbly, she slipped past him and out the door, leaving him alone with Khan.

 

Jim didn’t want to admit how uncomfortable her obedience made him. There was something inherently threatening in the way she understood Khan, their connection was glaringly different than anything Jim saw between a commander and his subject. She was just one person; would it be like that with the rest of his people? Not for the first time Jim felt like he was playing with fire, ready to be burned at any time.

 

The silence between them stretched, even more uncomfortable now that Katya was gone. Khan was still sprawled on the bed and Jim barely knew where to look. The slightly messy hair, with single, slightly curling tendrils that sneaked across his forehead, the ridiculously sharp cheekbones, his thin shirt stretched over the incredibly toned stomach or the way the slightly bent legs made the pitifully thin cloth stretch over hard thighs. Jim had it so bad; he even thought that the thick wrists melding into tightly muscled forearms were indecent.

 

Unconsciously he licked his lips and swallowed, trying to moisten his uncomfortably dry throat.

 

Khan’s pale eyes slid lower, following the movement before snapping up to Jim’s eyes. The worst, absolutely worst thing was, that Jim didn’t know if that lapse was honest or just another part of the calculated game Khan was playing. After all it would be an incredible advantage to have the man that was supposed to control Khan, panting after him instead.

 

“We need to talk.” Jim managed to squeeze out with a fairly steady voice. They needed to: About Katya, about the money, the weapons, the identities and a slew of other things.

 

Slowly Khan tilted his head sideways, never taking his eyes from Jim. The Captain realized the augment meant for Kirk to take Katya’s place beside him on the bed.

 

Jim could feel his jaw dropping, because _really_?

 

After a long, uncomfortable moment, Jim realized that he really would have to... snuggle with Khan. The dark haired man didn’t even look at him now, his eyes busily flicking over the PADD, ignoring Jim in that oddly intense way he had.

 

Jim was never one for dignity but crawling over Khan’s legs to squeeze into the narrow space on the bed between Khan and the wall was somewhat more undignified than even he was used to. After shifting for endless minutes he had to admit defeat. With a sigh he turned his gaze from the infinitely uninteresting ceiling to the man beside him. They were pressed from shoulder to thigh, he could feel the heat coming from the augment, the pressure of his hard, toned body but there was still clothing separating them. It was more contact than usual but still not enough. He needed skin to skin contact, he was aware of that in the most painful way.

 

Soon it became obvious that Khan wasn’t going to participate in any significant way so Jim gritted his teeth and reached for the edge of the dark shirt the man wore. Pretending to be much more assured of himself than he actually felt, Kirk pushed up Khan’s shirt until his fingers encountered warm, smooth skin.

 

At first nothing happened beside the sensation of warmth, and then he noticed that while Khan kept staring at the PADD his eyes didn’t move any more.

 

Moments later he felt the tingling rush of sensation, the incredible wave of calmness that washed away the red haze of aggression from his mind. He found that he both loved this sensation for the relief it brought him and hated it for the control over him it implied.

 

That little pause, everything Khan did was designed to show Jim just how much control lay on Khan’s side. It was cruel and petty and entirely unsurprising. Kirk had expected the augment to lash out after his earlier lapse.

 

“We need to talk.” Jim repeated once the most of the rush faded, leaving just the sensation of calm and the uncomfortable awareness of the tips of his fingers resting in the hollow between Khan’s hip and his hard belly.

 

“So you said.” Khan murmured, his eyes still on the blasted PADD.

 

Jim took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

 

“Katya.”

 

That got Khan to lay down the PADD at least.

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

There was no way to avoid this discussion. Jim was the Captain, she was a member of Khan’s group. They needed ~~to talk,~~ to try and establish some ground rules.

 

“Everything? Anything? Work with me here.”

 

Khan sighed as if it was the most tedious thing he could ever imagine.

 

“She’s a fighter like we all were, but outside of battlefield she was responsible for supplies. A quartermaster if you wish. Very efficient, she doesn’t deal with boredom well. Finding her something to do would be preferable.”

 

Jim rolled his eyes subtly; for all that Khan had said he hadn’t given away any information. No wonder he did so well at dictatorship.

 

“Does she have a last name?” Jim pressed.

 

For the first time Khan looked unsure, if only for a split second.

 

“She would probably prefer a new last name now.” The augment’s tone indicated that he really didn’t want to talk more on the subject.

 

“Fine. I will get her a new name when I will set her with her new identity.”

 

Khan looked at him with interest.

 

“I already set you up with one.” Jim continued.

 

The augment twisted his lips in a grimace of distaste.

 

“What useless name have you given me now?” He was obviously remembering being called John Harrison by Marcus.

 

Kirk grinned.

 

“Khan Singh.”

 

The blond had the pleasure of seeing the augment taken aback for a brief moment.

 

“What?”

 

“Well I figured that only those in the know actually knew your name. The public and even my own crew knew you only by the name John Harrison. Since the brass knows you’re here anyway and no one else recognizes your name why mess with something that works? So you are Khan Singh, a new, additional Science Officer.”

 

Khan couldn’t hide his surprise this time.

 

“You would have me on the bridge?” Khan’s voice became a dark, velveteen purr that rumbled its way down Jim’s spine like a caress. Hell that man used his sexuality like a fine blade, cutting Kirk at random, trying to see if he could draw blood.

 

Jim sighed. “I would have you where I can see you.”

 

Khan turned his face towards Jim, looking him in the eye from a few inches away, his cheekbones casting odd shadows on his face. There was something besides amusement in his eyes now.

 

“You are learning.” The augment’s voice dropped another register if it was even possible, and Jim had to fight down his body’s reaction to it. It almost sounded like a compliment.

 

“Well you did help design the Vengeance and if we are bringing more of your people back I can’t be seen disrespecting you, can I?” Jim continued.

 

There was a tiny smile tugging at the corner of Khan’s lips.

 

“Your life expectancy is growing.” Khan’s choice of compliments was... different at best.

 

“That’s good.” Jim answered with forced cheer. “Bones will be happy, he always said it was a miracle I lived this long since there was obviously something wrong with my survival instinct.”

 

The amusement faded from Khan’s eyes, instantly replaced with cold disdain. Somehow Jim mis-stepped there.

 

In a sudden, almost unrealistic move, Khan was up and off the bed, looming over Jim, his pale eyes burning with cold anger.

 

Kirk pulled himself up, to lean his back on the wall but stayed on the bed, refusing to feel intimidated by the dangerous man. He was well aware that in a physical confrontation Jim had no chance at all, but he was still the Captain and he wasn’t going back down from this this display.

 

Something shifted in Khan’s eyes again. It was as if the man was almost impressed with Jim’s control, his eyes scanning quickly over the Captain, probably reading more in one glance than Jim could see in an hour.

 

“Why do you hate McCoy so much? He’s never done anything to you.” Jim queried.

 

Khan’s thin lips twisted in a grimace of distaste.

 

“Please Captain, this particular level of idiocy doesn’t suit you at all.” Khan’s low rumble was packed with enough emotion to make Jim’s teeth ache. That was a sign to drop the subject with all due haste, less he wanted to be shredded by irate augmented man.

 

“Tell me something.” Jim ventured out again.

 

Khan turned away from him and approached the replicator on the wall but tilted his head in a sign he was listening.

 

“Why did you leave Earth?”

 

At this Khan turned around, his pale eyes scanning Jim’s face for something.

 

“We were forced to because of the revolution. You know that.”

 

Jim swallowed but didn’t lower his eyes.

 

“Yeah I read the records. They don’t make sense. Judging by how well your people managed to subdue humans before, you could have fought humanity to extinction. You were immune to most biological weapons of those times while humans were not. It would have been easy.” It was something Bones noticed actually, that Khan’s regenerative abilities and downright ferocious immune system meant that even today’s biological weapons were useless against him. Tactically all the augments needed to wipe out more that seventy percent of Earth’s population was to release all the weapons humans themselves built. “You chose to leave instead, why?”

 

Khan straightened, his eyes no longer burning but cold and unreadable.

 

“Destruction of human race was never our goal.” Khan answered finally, his face almost thoughtful.

 

“Then what was?”

 

Khan didn’t answer Jim, just went to the door and punched the code that opened them.

 

“I think it’s time for you to leave Captain.”

 

Even though he felt that he was tethering on the edge of something very important Jim got to his feet, sensing that Khan wouldn’t tolerate his presence any longer.

 

He left, feeling the augment’s piercing gaze locked on his back the whole way. His knees felt shaky and his mind was buzzing with half realized thoughts. Blindly he groped for his communicator and pinged Spock.

 

“Yes Captain?”

 

Jim licked his lips, eyes focused on nothing as he thought.

 

“Spock, what do you think the purpose of USS Botany Bay was?”

 

The Vulcan was quiet for a moment before answering. There was something odd in his tone.

 

“Survival.”

 

Jim exhaled.

 

“Of those 73 on board?”

 

There was an odd crackle on the Vulcan’s end.

 

“A hundred. There were a hundred cryo pods on that ship.”

 

Jim blinked, sidetracked.

 

A hundred cryo pods? But Khan only searched for the 72... Oh, just when he thought he knew the level that Admiral Marcus sunk to, there was something new. Khan looked for the 72 that _survived_ the Admiral. Jesus.

 

Survived.

 

Survival.

 

It all came down to that word, again and again.

 

_Destruction of human race was never our goal._

 

He stopped suddenly, feeling like a cartoon character with a light bulb moment. He pressed the comm again.

 

“Spock, would 100 people be enough to ensure the survival of Khan’s _race_?” He put emphasis on that because that was what they were essentially. He kept thinking about Khan as augmented human, a better version of what he himself was, but to Khan and his people that didn’t cover what they actually were.

 

They were a separate _race_.

 

“Negative. Not enough genetic diversity and we don’t know if they are capable of reproduction.”

 

It stopped Jim again. Well of course it wasn’t enough. There were ten thousand of Vulcans remaining and their survival as a race was still undetermined, what could  possibily be accomplished with just a hundred?

 

He started walking again, his mind turning the thought over and over.

 

What sense, what reason was there in sending a ship full of people into the darkness of space to sleep for hundreds if not thousands of years? A miscalculation? No, Khan wouldn’t make a mistake this big. There had to be reason and Jim knew that figuring that out, the very reason behind USS Botany Bay, would be the key to unlocking Khan.

 

 

The end

02-07-2013

 

 


End file.
